and hello to...
Coronagrump receives its own special vaccination from the expert, which means...
After just one year, you and I, the loyal
followers of Coronagrump and a few others, have accomplished
much. We have highlighted many of the world’s major problems and have brought
pressure to the powers that be. Most importantly, we managed between us to see off Donald Trump (we hope!). The Coronagrump has done its job well and you are all to be congratulated!
But nature abhors a vacuum and we now have to hope the fist of velvet holding the stick of steel is going to fill it. Perhaps with our help, they can get the world back on track.
There are immense challenges ahead. In the US alone, there are still
pro-Trumpists behaving ludicrously
and overseas, the country is rightly perceived as weakened and divided.
Facing us, though, are bigger matters, including climate change, which Trump scoffed at,
overpopulation concerns, environmental and sustainability issues on land and in the oceans, pollution…there's no end to it.
Meanwhile, politicians everywhere continue to behave astonishingly badly as usual, so there's still plenty to lampoon and keep us all grumpy.
As well as bad behaviour, they simply cannot be trusted to utter a word of truth.
Of course, there's still Covid 19 around, but as the vaccines roll out, it's perhaps time to focus more on other matters.
This being the case, it's also time for the 'Coronagrump' to adapt and change. But don't despair, brace yourselves for the new rollercoaster ride that, as Snow White says, will henceforth be known simply as 'The Grump'
So without further ado, let's get started and have a look at the disastrous state of affairs in the UK. Flushed with his perceived success at breaking free from the EU and thus hoping for a fresh start and a win at the next Eurovision Song Contest,
Boris is anxious that this does not extend to the north. Scotland, however, has never forgiven the English for the battle of Culloden
and under the sturdy leadership of Nicola Sturgeon, is intent on separation.
Meanwhile Boris continues to make up the rules of lockdown as he goes along under the mantra of acting responsibly.
Her Majesty the Queen is particularly worried about Scotland and the potential break-up of the United Kingdom.
And as if that wasn't enough for her to be concerned, there more trouble within the Royal Family, which has led to the banishment of Harry and Meghan.
I suppose one could say that they are SUITed and booted…anyway, remaining royals are not amused; one might even say they were grumpy. So much so, in fact, that it is understood Prince Charles is no longer speaking to his son! I mean, really? Perhaps they should go on the mailing list for the 'Grump'.
Meanwhile in France, there's a certain past-president who seems to be in a whole heap of trouble.
Just what will happen to him, though, is anybody's guess, but a few ideas have been circulating, especially now that the German Chancellor has a bit more time on her hands.
I mentioned the EU earlier and am reminded of a story I heard about a British couple stopped by the police in France while driving back home after attending a particularly boozy wedding. The gendarme asked the man if he had been drinking, to which he replied honestly, “Yesh officer, I’ve had at least a bottle of champagne and probably two or three bottles of wine.”
The result of the breath test they give him was off the charts, so they told him that they were going to arrest him. The man then began to laugh, confusing the gendarme and when further questioned, our hero explained. “You shee officer, this is a British car, and my wife is driving…on the other seat.”
While talking about motoring, I liked this number plate note for following drivers and the clear national quality message illustrated in the shunt.
Such shunts are not usually a problem in the frozen north though, when all you have to worry about in a puncture.
Getting things fixed, though: sorting out the annoying rattle - that really can be a pain.
"Turns was a marble in the ashtray!"
Most of us haven't flown anywhere for more than a year now but do you remember when flying used to be fun?
Yes, well, enough said! Another aspect of flying that I have not missed, is this sort of nonsense!
And flying with Covid SOPs nowadays is just completely nuts!
MEDICAL (& a bit of C19)
The pandemic knows no borders and is being fought by still overworked doctors with any means at their disposal.
Of course, it's not all
about the pandemic, as these nuns recently discovered.
Some people are so picky!
Meanwhile, the grim reaper, up to speed as always, continues his eternal task on-line.
Actually, I think 'ZOOM' meetings are more like modern day seances, especially with the inexperienced.
"John, are you there?"
"Say something if you can hear us."
"Is anyone else with you?"
"We can't see you, but can you hear us?"
This leads me on to the always challenging subject of...
Whether it's on line, in print or face to face, it always seems to be harder than it should be to communicate easily and effectively
They say that television today insults your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer. Well, have a look at this to make you feel better.
On the subject of which, everybody seems to be getting really fed up with Facebook, don’t they? The more technically advanced we become, the harder it seems to be able to communicate clearly, down at the pub (remember those days?) or in the office looking for a job.
And I bet some of you have been through this sort of nonsense...
When it comes to communicating, it seems that aliens are probably a lot better at it than we are.
Have you noticed that there seems to be a lot of jokes circulating these days about old age and its effects on our bodies, memories, etc. I have to say that I'm finding them all rather a bore, probably because I’m in the general category being described. However, there was a lovely story I heard recently about a young man who met this really stunning woman in a bar. She was considerably older than he was, but they got along fine and after a few drinks, she nuzzled up close to him and asked if he’d ever had a ‘sportsman’s double’?
Not sure what this was, he asked and his predatory companion explained, “It’s a mother and daughter threesome, and tonight’s your lucky night.” More than a little excited, they went back to her place, and as they walked in, the dazzling lady shouted up the stairs, “Mum, are you still awake?”
And finally, I love the cheek of this guy; truly inspirational!
Now for bit of serious stuff.
There is so much that we are wrecking, we just don't deserve to be the custodians of the planet.
The annual dolphin cull in Taiji, Japan, has just finished with some 550 dolphins killed and a further 150 snatched for entertainment parks. Many more died of stress. The Norwegian government just approved a 2021 quota for its whaling fleet to kill 1,278 minke whales, despite the global moratorium on commercial whaling, and killing sharks for their fins, meat, skin and squalene (for cosmetics), is increasing (hundreds of millions killed a year, with Brazil and Italy the top two consumers - NOT China!). Meanwhile, both small and big game continues to be poached at unsustainable levels.
The oaf that purports to run Brazil has managed over the last year to accelerate the rate of
destruction of the Amazon rain forest to an unimaginable level.
A total of 11,088 sq km (4,281 sq miles) of rainforest were destroyed from August 2019 to July 2020. This is a 9.5% increase from the previous year, a consequence of the encouragement of mining, logging and agricultural activities.
I imagine you sometimes groan when see yet another request to sign a petition on line, circulating to lobby governments to do this or that, but these petitions can and do work. Please therefore do your bit and sign when you feel so moved. As Barak Obama ominously said, "We are the first generation to feel the effect of climate change and the last generation who can do something about it."
That’s all for now. I hope you liked the new style Grump and if you did, please share with your friends. If you didn’t, share it anyway, but let me know!
Keep safe and well and I’ll be back next month with another ‘Grump’.